Bro' Mal'

“Yah he’s the quiet one isn’t he”. Rob is a ruff and tumble kind of guy. Don’t turn your back on this one. He is quick to anger and with his cage fighting skills, you can easily find yourself face to face with a raging tiger. It is said that he originated on a tiny Alaskan island where he was raised by Tlingit Indians and was forbidden to eat anything other than lichens and baby seal blubber. He has only been on the continental US since 2002 and he speaks very little English. In order to maintain the high level of caloric intake that his body is used to from the baby seal blubber, it is necessary for Rob to consume several pints of rich fine ale daily. Although he cannot raise his own seals in the northern California climate he has managed to grow and cultivate his own lichens. Rock on Rob!

Rob declined to comment for this interview.